Jen Lumanlan is the founder and host of the “Your Parenting Mojo” podcast, where she examines scientific research related to child development through the lens of respectful parenting. She has qualifications from the perspective of having two Master’s degrees in psychology and education. But what makes her so interesting is the critical eye with which she reviews the research and then breaks it down for parents. Listen to our chat to learn how a click-bait article led her to her research, many amazing podcasts, and coaching practice..
“5 Ways to Tell If Your Child Has a Developmental Delay” was one of the first email messages she received as a new mom, which she found to be not only very clickbaity, but not peer reviewed research, most often based on the research of White Psychology majors. With over 120 podcast episodes (she reads an average of 30 peer-reviewed studies for each interview), Jen does in depth studies for her listeners and readers to understand the research behind the studies telling us how to be better parents. Like so many of the other speakers here at Sandwich Parenting, she is passionate and incredibly articulate. You will learn a lot from her. I know I did!
I chatted with Jen about:
- How bias is baked into scientific-research and how she works through the bias in the data.
- What we use as rewards (sweets for vegetables, screen time for homework) and how that makes it more desirable! How does that impact what our children feel about these rewards?
- Why she does not agree with compulsory schooling, where the person going to school doesn’t get to choose what they are learning. It is not that there is something WRONG with school if someone chooses to do it for their own reasons, but rather, people being forced to study things that do not matter to them is a problem.
- The history of school – it was initially for the elite. Then as the church lost their power, the state stepped in to make sure that people were educated so that they had a population with skills who were interchangeable.
- How the element of control was part of her childhood and how it is NOT her approach to parenting.
- What is the parent’s need versus the child’s need in a particular situation? The only way to navigate a gap is to say “tell me more.”
- Her podcast series examines her own White privilege and how that impacts how she parents and advocates for her daughter at school. Race impacts every aspect of how she parents.
- Childhood trauma can affect our parenting. Her popular “Taming Your Triggers” workshop is offered regularly. It’s about listening and being present. This is a workshop that I believe all parents would benefit from, as we parents are often triggered by what we think are our children’s behaviours.
- She is a Co-Active Coach. As stated on coactive.com, their coaching “delivers contextually relevant and experiential learning that ignites transformation and a life-long journey developing the deepest expression of leadership in each human being.” Coaching is usually about approaching the person as a whole being, most likely having the answers themselves. It is not therapy. And the method Jen uses is focused on being, not doing.
Jen’s message to Sandwich Parents is: “Parenting is a journey that can help to make you whole.” You’ll have to listen to the podcast to hear how she describes the container we are building. (Is it leaky?) It’s a great analogy and a wonderful no-blame way to rethink how we are parenting.