It takes a village to raise a child. But in the absence of a village, what do parents do? We have to figure things out ourselves.

There are many online resources as well as science-based and well-researched books depending on your specific combination of experiences and circumstances. There is a growing understanding of how childhood trauma can impact our neurology and therefore affect how we develop relationships and parent our children. Keep an eye on the evolving literature and research about this!

There are also specific cultural nuances to different ethnical communities. It may be helpful to find groups that speak to your ancestral uniqueness. There are some great parent groups with parents that look and sound just like you. Some things are universal, but others may be more unique to a culture.

Join an online community! There are so many great groups where you can safely share your challenges and see that you are not alone in dealing with these issues. Other parents can share their strategies with you and, with their support, you can test out what works for you. There’s no one right way, just what works for your family!

If you need more personalized support, you may want to consider working with a therapist, coach, or counsellor. There are many, but here are the ones I have gotten to know by admiring their work from afar and then interviewing them.

For my healing journey, when I have free time, I hang out in established communities that have built structures and trained admins who keep the space safe for us to share and learn. There, we can practice communication skills, share stories of our triggers, and learn new ways to manage our challenges. I love knowing that I’m not a ‘bad’ person or ‘strange’. Here, unlike in the other line of social media, people are sharing their hardships and triumphs, not just photos of perfect moments. It’s taken me a while to find my tribes, but I am really happy that I found them!

Here are some people you can reach out to:

Parenting Consultation with Iris Chen at Untigering. She is a proponent of Gentle Parenting, decolonization, and unschooling. Learn more about her from my interview or read her amazing book!

Hang Out with Iris and the wonderful Facebook community she built of Untigering parents. See you there!

Untigering Parent

As a Chinese-American and daughter of a pastor, Iris Chen played by the rules and succeeded, but felt that those (impressive) achievements didn’t quite have meaning in her life. She is now on a journey of Untigering. Continue reading Untigering Parent

Trauma Recovery Coaching with Linda Meredith at Healing CPTSD. She works with people to recover from trauma, not only in a one-on-one paid situation, but offered freely on her YouTube videos and her Facebook Peer Support Group. Learn more about her story in my interview with her.

Hang Out with Linda, the amazing admins, moderators, group assistants, and the thousands of people from around the world working through stages 2 & 3 of CPTSD in the Healing from Complex CPTSD Facebook Community. See you there!

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