We need to articulate what kind of parents we aspire to be.
Many of us come preprogrammed with a parental approach that we did not consciously plan, such as Authoritarian Parenting (or Tiger, Helicopter, Lawnmower). There are many other approaches: such as Attachment Parenting, Gentle Parenting, Free Range Parenting, or Peaceful Parenting. When my children were little, I Tiger-Mom-roared at them whenever they did not behave the way I wanted them to. One day, I saw the fear in their eyes and realized that my parenting approach did NOT align with my values. That started my journey to become the parent I wanted them to have.
From Overwhelming to Surviving, from Surviving to Thriving
We have to follow our True North and protect our values. As part of developing our aspirations, we may first need to deconstruct the parenting playbook we unconsciously inherited from our caregivers and culture. Pick and choose what works for your family. Test things out a bit. It all depends on what you think about the relationship with your children, nature of rules, approach to discipline, consequences for ‘inappropriate’ behaviour, locus of control, right to be respected, reciprocity of communication, and societal expectations. As a recovering Tiger Mom, I was delighted to see my parental aspirations articulated in UnTigering by Iris Chen.
|ASPIRATIONS||Follow Your True North||Protect Your Values|
|Overwhelmed||Review inherited parental playbook||Seek like-minded parent experts & tribes|
|Surviving||Articulate own parental values||Test and practice new parental style|
|Thriving||Focus on priority aspirations||Protect your values and character|