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Self-Compassion to Heal from Complex Trauma

There is now a growing body of research in the area of CPTSD and more now that is outside of what is traditionally white or North American focused. (Yay!) This is good news, because so many people suffer from complex trauma, the symptoms of which include: anxiety, depression, emotional dysregulation, and challenges with relationships. A…

Trauma-Informed Goals

Great ideas are just things that have already happened… in the future. You’ve already done it. It was/will be fantastic. You know it. It’s coming. We are now, in the present, just figuring out the ‘how’ and ‘enjoying’ the journey there. The uncertainty can either trigger us into a place of fear or motivate us…

What would you rather pay attention to?

It’s the weekend and you’re bringing your child to the mall to run some errands.You board the train, got a seat, and you feel the urge to check your phone to see if anyone messaged you.Well.. I definitely don’t want to miss any messages from my spouse, just in case he wants to add more…

Breathing Through Smog

I’ve been feeling out of sorts.  Ten years ago – a whole decade ago – I packed up my then eight-year-old son and a few suitcases and we shipped ourselves off to Wuhan, China. I wasn’t only the only single mother there – I was the only high school teacher parenting a child while living…

4 Lessons from Motherhood

I still remember that beautiful day. The day I got to hold the sweetest being in my arms, having my first picture with her and being all smiley even after a long labour, which ended unexpectedly in an emergency caesarean section. Stepping into the identity of a mum and going on this motherhood journey has…

Responsive Parenting

Repeating yourself to a young child is rarely going to help them do as you say. Let’s imagine you’ve asked your toddler to stop hitting her brother and she doesn’t… you demand one more time with increased volume and annoyance in your tone, “I said stop hitting!”  This child of yours—who was showing with the…

Repairing Ruptures in Parent-Child Relationships

By Melissa Xuereb, Parent Coach at Parenting Takes Courage At the invitation of Sherry Yuan Hunter here at Sandwich Parenting, I will be writing a semi-regular blog about Empowered Parenting. This morning as the rain poured, Charlie, Olivia and I were leaving the house. Our car undercover was mostly surrounded by (attractive) puddles. The kids…

Managing Triggers

One of the most frustrating things in the world is that explosion of rage when our kids (or partners, or friends, or colleagues) exhibit ‘undesirable’ behaviour. We THINK it’s because they are ‘behaving badly’ and that means that we need to work harder to CONTROL the situation. Then comes the shame and, for some, the…

Heritage Privilege

The reason why it’s important to understand privilege is because when we take it for granted, we end up not appreciating what we have and we forget that others never got it. This is the kind of invisible privilege that puts us ahead without us even knowing that we had an advantage.

Narcissistic Abuse Coach Kimberly Weeks

This is an incredibly exciting podcast for me to release for many reasons. Kimberly Weeks is a Trauma Recovery Coach specializing in working with those who are recovering from abused by narcissists. Her choice of specialization comes from a very personal place. Not only is she doing this work for own healing journey and for…

Model Breakers Charlene Wang

Charlene Wang is the Founder of LivingOS, an online community supporting high achievers and, more recently, the author of Model Breakers, a book that aims to help readers break up with the model Asian minority stereotype.

Sandwich Kid Tou Ger Lee

Raw and real, Tou Ger Lee shares the story about his Hmong parents’ journey from the dangerous jungles of Laos to their new sponsored life in Wisconsin. A transformational coach who works with high achievers, Tou Ger knows what it is like to be successful and not actually feel anything. Drawing on his experience rejecting…

The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk

In The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma, van der Kolk combines his experience with his clients with recent and evolving scientific studies into a single resource for anyone working with trauma survivors. This is a must read for anyone who is eager to heal from their trauma,…

Future-Proofing Our Children

As parents, we want to give our children stability, safety, freedom from suffering, advantage, and wealth. However, what if the very act to provide them the best ends up impacting them negatively as well?

Finding My Political Voice

Politics, like religion, is super tricky. It’s about beliefs, values, and loyalty. Us vs Them. People are “brainwashed” by powers using the subtle but strong messages. I’ve seen more and more parenting sites get political and I’m tentatively trying out my own political voice.

Screen Time in COVID Days

In 2020, my boys have probably clocked more time in front of the screen than they have accumulated in the previous decade. Part of me wants to berate myself for letting it get out of hand. You know, for being a bad mom.

Untigering Parent

As a Chinese-American and daughter of a pastor, Iris Chen played by the rules and succeeded, but felt that those (impressive) achievements didn’t quite have meaning in her life. She is now on a journey of Untigering.

Maybe, He’s a Spoon…

When we knowingly wink and say ‘well, he’s not the sharpest knife in the drawer’, we are assuming that someone is a knife and that a knife should be sharp. We know that’s not true.

Lazy Procrastinating Mama

You know where I’m going with this, right? I’m not that mom who spent a month planning and creating the perfect homemade costume, who is decking out the porch in Halloween decorations, who spent the weekend carving Jack o’Lanterns with my kids and their cousins… Nope. I had to all day work Sunday. I was…

Raging at Kids is Signal: Need Self Care!

For the first few years of my kids’ lives, I thought that yelling at them was my way of disciplining and teaching them. But over time, I came to notice that 1) I wasn’t consistent in what I yelled at, 2) I had some specific triggers, and 3) while some things might have made a…

Aargh, Homework!

Somehow whenever I ask them if they have homework and it’s still light out, the answer is ‘no mommy’ and yet somehow 2 minutes before bed, someone panics about homework that is due tomorrow.

Mommy, I’m Glad You Don’t Spoil Us

Why? Well, my 9-year old heard a story about a spoiled rich kid. His father bought a TV and wanted to test it using the kid’s X-Box, which A2 pointed out, was probably paid for by the dad. The kid got so upset that he had a temper tantrum and threw a something at the…

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