They Don’t Need My Approval!

My kids are constantly trying to show me that they want to do things for the intrinsic value and NOT because I told them to. It’s a very strange experience, observing it from this side of the equation. They don’t like the nagging, because they would much rather feel good about making the decision on their own. They don’t want me to point out their mistakes, not just because they don’t like me judging them, but rather they would rather develop that standard for themselves.

In many ways, I’m excited by this development, in other ways I’m shaking my head, like, HOW ARE YOU GOING TO UNDERSTAND WHAT CLEAN MEANS IF YOU DON’T LIKE IT WHEN I POINT OUT WHERE YOU DIDN’T CLEAN THE DISHES WELL ENOUGH?!

And then I realize that at their age, my cleaning wasn’t very good. Actually, when I was twice their age and half mine (I’ll let you do the math), I was also not very good at cleaning. It took me more decades than I care to count to actually care about household chores.

I got here. Albeit a lot slower than I would have liked, but I got here.

Published by Sherry Yuan Hunter

Sherry Yuan Hunter is a certified trauma recovery coach and certified parenting coach. Taiwan-born American-Canadian Chinese, married, working mother of two, Sherry identifies as a Sandwich Parent, Third Culture Kid, an untigering Mom, and recovering shouldaholic. Based in Toronto, Canada, Sherry has been working in student success programs at University of Toronto for 20 years, supporting students, young professionals, new managers, working moms, and new immigrants to success.

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