The Ps: Process, People and Product

My husband is a brilliant writer. I think it’s part of the reason why we got together. His Doteaters website was well researched and written. His writing about computer games has been a labour of love for 3 decades and he did it for the joy of telling the stories. PhDs use his research and professors have included his website in their curriculum. What I find most admirable is his consistency in quantity and quality of output.

Then he found his work wife (work husband?) Chad where their collaboration led to even more interesting projects and a lot of fun. Both these guys are creative, with their own opinions, and yet they always manage to end up with something that they both like a lot. I have also seen how their friendship deepened during many years of collaboration. I have observed him with many other collaborators as well. They all seem to like him a lot. He was once called the set mommy because of how well he took care of the cast and crew.

He doesn’t hold back on his feedback… so it’s not like he’s NOT telling people what he thinks. He definitely doesn’t always agree with other people’s feedback, but he really really listens and seems to find a way to address the issues. He doesn’t seem to get upset about a critique, even if it means that he may have to redo or undo hours and hours of work.

I’m so envious about this because I’m discovering that maybe I’m not such a great collaborator as I once thought I was. And I’m observing him, thinking, I like the way he collaborates and I like the way he works with other people. So I asked Bill… what is the secret to being such a great collaborator? This is what he said:

I am solely focused on the process and the end product. If someone has an idea that can make either of those better, I take it and I make changes. If the feedback doesn’t make the process or end product better, I will thank them for the feedback and move on.

I asked him how he managed not to take anything personally, which I think I have an automatic tendency to do and he continued:

Because I want the best possible outcome. I’m really only thinking about how this can be better. So if someone can see something that I didn’t see, I want to do it. It’s not about my ego. My ego doesn’t matter.

Well, that’s something to aspire to! Focus purely on the process (systems and routines) and the product (outcome) rather than the people (ego). This is particularly challenging for those who suffer from complex trauma, because it can be difficult not to be hypervalent or perfectionistic. It can be very difficult not to take things personally. But watching it in action, role modeled by him, I feel that it is something I can aspire to!

Here’s a taste of some of his and Chad’s pop culture Nerdstalking projects where you can see his approach in action!

Ep. 45 – The Bittersweetness of John Candy Nerdstalking

  There's a dearth of genuine people in Hollywood; Canadian actor-comedian John Candy was surely one of them. Larger than life on the screen, Candy passed away from a heart attack in 1994. But in his formidalbe wake he left a library of quality movies and television, so in this episode Bill and Chad remember such classics as Uncle Buck, Summer Rental, Planes, Trains and Automobiles, and others. Show Notes: 03:39  – Uncle Buck. 06:03 – The language of real life. 07:08 – By way of comparison: Uncle Buck vs. Parenthood. 11:38 – Really hits home watching the movie after having kids. 13:56 – Losing John Candy was like losing a close friend. 14:53 – Johnny LaRue 16:04 – The toothpick guy. 18:30 – One problem with Uncle Buck. 19:25 – Planes, Trains and Automobiles. 21:37 – YOU'RE GOING THE WRONG WAY!! 24:43 – Summer Rental. 30:49 – Stripes. 36:13 – The Great Outdoors. (I meant to say spin cycle, not rinse cycle – Bill) 43:13 – Only the Lonely + the unbearable 'acting' of Ally Sheedy. 46:19 – By way of comparison: Molly Ringwald. 49:55 – The Canadian Conspiracy. Thanks for listening! The Canadian Conspiracy on YouTube: Uncle Buck trailer: By way of comparison, the inevitable Uncle Buck TV show pilot from 1990, starring Kevin Meaney: And don't look now, here's the pilot of the 2018 Uncle Buck TV reboot: Connect With Your Nerdstalkers: Bill Hunter – writer, and creator of video game history website The Dot Eaters Chad Wick – writer, musician and creator of the Canadian Culture Thing Our Website: Social Media Links: Twitter: Facebook: Instagram:
  1. Ep. 45 – The Bittersweetness of John Candy
  2. Ep. 44 – Toxic Star Wars Fandom/Best TV and Movie Picks
  3. Ep. 43 – Sick Movies by Sick People for Sick People: Some Nicolas Roeg Films
  4. Ep. 42 – We Bisect 'Solo: A Star Wars Story' and Watch its Baby Legs Grow Back
  5. Ep. 41 – Pump the Hate Brakes! It's our Deadpool 2 Review!

Published by Sherry Yuan Hunter

Sherry Yuan Hunter is a certified trauma recovery coach and certified parenting coach. Taiwan-born American-Canadian Chinese, married, working mother of two, Sherry identifies as a Sandwich Parent, Third Culture Kid, an untigering Mom, and Recovering Shouldaholic. Based in Toronto, Canada, Sherry has been working in student success programs at University of Toronto for 20 years, supporting students, young professionals, new managers, working moms, and new immigrants to success.

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