Being at home with the husband and kids 24/7 for months on end means that other than quality family time together, everyone also needed quality alone space… Initially, the boys were set up side by side in their shared room, hubby was in his den, and I was downstairs in the open concept kitchen/living/dining/entertainment room. I would go to the master bedroom when I needed privacy for calls.
The 13-year old complained about the wifi speed for his gaming, the 11-year old complained about his brother’s loud (no kidding bullhorn-like) voice and I really was tempted by the fridge and pantry all day long sitting only 20 feet away from the kitchen area.
A1 asked if we could pull the wired internet cable up to their room to connect to his computer. I said no. A2 asked when we were kicking Daddy out of the den so that he could move out of the shared room into the den. I said, next year.
So the ole Mommy brain started thinking about how to get to a win-win-win situation.
I had an idea.
But I have a tendency to figure something out after a ton of conversations in my own head and then just present the solution to my husband and kids as a done deal, which often creates tension. Sometimes they don’t like the idea at all or else they object to a part of it. Either way, I would feel annoyed and offended. But now, I’m getting better at presenting the idea to them by pointing out the problems and what the proposed solution addressed, asking them if they see any problems.
Before A1’s birth, we bought an IKEA diaper changing table that converted into a normal bureau. Due to a broken drawer, it got moved into the den to sit and collect dust while we piled things on top of it that needed to be stored away. I got that cleared out and cleaned up. I moved that into our master bedroom. It takes up very little space, and when opened up, it was perfect for my laptop.
Then I asked A1 if he wanted to move downstairs so that he could be wired. He said (no kidding with no pause) yes, yes, yes, when, when, when? I said, but you lose some privacy. And he said, worth it.
Then I asked A2 if he was okay with A1 moving downstairs so that they could play with their own friends or have their online classes without interrupting each other. I told him that he could shut his door and I would knock and wait for him to say it’s okay to come in. He also jumped at it, but worried that A1 wouldn’t like the idea. I told him, A1 cleared it. He said, okay, cool, but don’t forget, I still get my own room in a year.
Then I asked hubby if he was okay with it and he said, I don’t have to move? I’m good!
So now we each have our own working space and privacy for calls.
Sherry Yuan Hunter 